Still wondering...what’s wrong with me ??is the world pacing up, or am I walking slowly?
I remember walking on the street by myself in the evening. The crowd around me was in sheer hurry to reach itz destination, cars honking, buses over crowded, peddlers waiting for the signal to turn green so that they can rush into their homes where their loved ones shall be waiting for their arrival. It was probably one of those moments when my mind turns mute, stops responding, the sounds of the techno nature fills in my ears....i was totally lost in the crowd around me...like a carcass body, i was unable to see, feel, hear anything..except for the noises around... i have taken this road umpteenth times before but still it looks different today....i walked in, the road looked familiar to me.... similar to the road which I used to take few years back...miles away from the place I am in currently....the same road which was taken by my school vanl, where I spent uncountable moments yapping about nothing at all...mocking people who barely have anything to do with my life....laughing insanely without any reason...
It suddenly reminded me of my kindergarten days...when all 4 of us from my family would start an expedition in full spree to absolutely nowhere,laughing, talking over the small sibling fights...
ummm.... anyhow...life's completely different now.... I have to complete my assignment as fast as i can...i remember asking for a black sheet of paper..not again!! Black! Again some Goth topic...do i really like gothic stuff?? Guess not...well anyhow 2yrz down the lane, i was a pink freak
.then a pasta packet...I never liked them before...but yeah..my taste has changed over a period of time....I will manage it for tomorrow’s dinner......but yeah..forgot..i have classes till late, so wont be in a condition to cook my dinner. So ready to eat would work...
Life seems so slow when things don’t happen the way u had expected...the road which i could have walked with my loved ones is walked by me in solitude, maybe i was too busy looking high up into the sky to relish the sight of beautiful birds flying to celebrate their freedom...or was looking down kicking the small pebbles lying on the road, that made me miss the moments that could have only felt in normal view line...
on my way back, i saw the 4 yr old daughter of my house maid, a familiar face..i passed a smile, that provoked an innocent smile on her lips....
I walked back home, waiting for a beaming face to open the door for me...
Just realized that...what it might seem to you might not be how it is in reality....
i hastily searched for my keys...opened the door, switched on the lights, pondering over the submission that’s due next Saturday. i had waited for an entire week to get an offday today.. Cant wait for tomorrow to move in to the place where i don’t belong...where i am nothing more than ‘Ipsi’...where i pass fake smiles to all, have forgotten how it looks when one smiles with the heart....but this is where i always wanted to be...this is what i have chosen for myself....the world's on mute...n is definitely acting deaf ears to all my queries....one more day of my life has come to an end......& i recall nothing but the naive smile of that baby girl....
life is beautiful...but unfortunately...i have never been a good admirer of beauty..
~~~~IPSITA~~~
