Friday, November 10, 2017
Ever wondered why the taste of freedom fades into oblivion the moment it is leased and bounded by rules? the constant need for approval from others and the fear of taking risks stifles you from within...
There is something really beautiful in being raw..uncouth and untamed.your untamed spirit keeps u awake in the darkest of the nights and alerts you of the myriad possibilities that the world has written for you.
Truth be told, following your untamed spirit means living for yourself, seeking the invigorating challenging experiences of life, its stepping out of the comfort zone and taking full responsibility of your life and striving to attain that last piece of freedom that you always desired to taste.
Your untamed spirit chases you to realize your deepest darkest desires,chases you to fight for your life and happiness, chases you to be the one that you want to be rather than sitting in a stagnant pond trying hard to fit in to the societal norms dictated by others
So,Let your spirits run wild, be untamed and alive and taste the sweetness(or bitterness) of freedom, passion and life.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, November 25, 2011
I love it, I live it! Its a part of me....i enjoy being Bz on 3G, rest everything comes secondary ;)
Monochromatic monotonous lives be damned
time to fling some enraged birds to drive the fat pigs away and keep myself occupied till I can tap back into my fb world
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Come back!...come back to me….let me relive those moments again,,,
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
To my sugary sibling who has come a long way from a petulant little kid to becoming my source of strength for lifetime, who would just not let me grow up, & has now grown an uncanny habit of holding on to silly collectibles that reminds her of me, my sister- who kisses me goodnight & cuddles me to sleep while I would be in welling up my eyes, missing my mum
To my new Mum (in-law), an epitome of syrupy sweetness who has done more than enough to break the stereotype that our mind sketches of the word "saas", a woman who just wont budge from showering her love & affection in the form of dollops of butter added generously to the sumptuous parathas she makes every time i pay her a visit, who accepted a 22yr old rebellious brat as her daughter-in-law with a bear hug & a wide smile…
Lastly to my mum--for bringing me to life, whose contribution in building the figments of my life is in such tremendous quantity that no matter what I pen in favor of her , would be an understatement to her selfless existence in my life..someone who has shed tears in tons fretting over my future, who has done everything & anything it takes to make the smallest of the small dreams come into life for me, who can sketch out the current state of my mind in a jiffy, who would still treat me like a 5yr old & buy me soft toys on my birthday, who will innocently listen to all the nonsense I have got to yap, who would accompany me on my endless window-shopping sprees, ....who knows me by my pulse like no one else does....the woman in my life who can fight with the entire world to bring a flicker of smile on my lips, a woman who has brought me up like a princess, spoilt me silly, & has done zillions of sacrifices to keep the tiara on the princess’s head intact
I raise a toast, & bow my head to the wonderful ladies, who make my sepia life worth living with zest by adding a palate of vibrant pink into it….I am proud of being a woman myself for being worthy enough to spread the word of love & affection as these woman have in my life & many others…......I dedicate the special day, week, year & life acknowledging my beautiful life as a woman.....Celebrating the spirit of womanhood, I wish one and all a very happy women’s day, Hope we all continue adding magic to this dull world by our beauty, compassion & love
Saturday, January 15, 2011
1 my boss f*&@s my life, I had a verbal abuse session with my best friend, my boy friend's ex(es) refuse to f@#$ off, the traffic gulps a piece of my steaming brain, bloody PMS, someone hints at my burgeoning hips when I am just about to gulp a kilo of my favourite ice-cream....grrrrrrrrrhhh!!!!!!!!..........*enters the hero* *hugs* *pecks on cheeks*....addresses me as "his" "small" "baby".....**anger melts** **blush** blush** sigh! Blush*
2) you may over hear me saying, I am independent, can take care of myself, smart, Cosmo girl, and blah! blah! and more Blah! But at the core of my heart, I always want someone to take charge of things & lead me, & Men are biologically programmed by their inflated Male egos to guide their ladies when I can just sit back, relax as a pillion in my life & trust the special 'him' to walk me through, even though his roaring self esteem may not allow him to ask for directions when he is lost, but still its his headache to stay on-track B-)
3) the view ahead is myopic, on the top of it you are colour blind, what a disastrous combo, unless, YEAH!! unless you have your sugar to wrap you in his strong arms, nudge you in the right direction, & let the optimistic ray of warm sunlight fall on you.PEFECT view!!
4) I like butter scotch, he likes the same without butter, I cant stand strawberry, he cant stand without munching on few fresh ones, I dream in candy shades, he sees through crystal clear lenses, my pink tinted fantasies rule my throbbing heart, the gray scaled world rules his mind. together we procreate our unconventional world of differences, that serves the regular potion of nourishment to both mind & heart..
5) Had a long tiring day (plus the events mentioned in pointer 2), to rejuvenate my senses, all I have to do is...to reach out for his smiling, dimpled face followed by LOLing at the silliest of silly PJs cracked by him ,that you can find all over the santa-banta kinda sites. which is any day better than a stick pole sitting at home giving you global gyaan about things you have attained a PHD on (the last line makes no sense, but still felt like adding it :P)
6) contrast to the general notion that girls go for henpecked hubbies is totally a myth, how would you feel when you are shouting at the top of your voice, calling him names etc, & he listens to you intently without moving an inch,,boring!! isnt it....I personally prefer some one who can fight back, react to my witty sarcasms by wittier sarcastic comments, someone who is a wooo...MAN not a WOOman :D
7) I am a responsible individual, matured, responsible..woteva!!
.AHEM!! Ahem!!....* the kid inside me pops out* *its welcomed warmly with a big open heart, mushy kisses, & is elated, sometimes feels on the 7th heaven as though he received his favourite candy without even asking for it :)
Well!well...well..enough of carrying a halo over my head, lemme just satiate my zingy tongue by amending the post by adding yet another cliché—you love them...you hate them...n even though sometime you may wish to, but they just wont let you ignore...
Have a great weekend girlies with that special someone of yours, don’t forget to screen your devilish horns with a sparkling halo over your head ;)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Throughout my teens I mooned over the Shakespearean saga of eternal love, the tuneful melody of violins playing in a far fetched land & the rosy images of mills & boon…I sigh every time Raj (of DDLJ fame) stretches his arms out to accommodate his lady love of life Simran into his huge heart filled with the beautiful lullabies of love….However cliché it may sound, the flowery images of delicate love stories that uncannily ends with a ‘happily ever after’ message made me believe that there is some Oh-so charming knight in shinning armor out there waiting to unleash the princess in me & take me to a world away from the hustle-bustle.
(That was one of my silly dreams prior to my obsession to dark arts/vampires (now that will make another post), anyhow concentrating on the present topic of living in a fairy tale….)
As I grew up in a small town, I suddenly found myself trapped amongst a herd of so-called corny romantics…with the Titanic, Romeo N Juliet…DDLJ fever still warm in the hearts of my fellow classmates…who at a tender age of 13-14 claimed to have found their soul mates...14th Feb post Dil to pagal hai movie release, was awaited by these amateur lovers with hearts & stars on their eyes…for me the day meant cribbing with my single BFFs over life being unkind to me for not granting me the elusive beauty of life=love….the Raj or the Jack who would rescue me from sinking into the sea….sigh!...n I would stuff myself with loads of ice creams & goodies, even though life was as complete as it can get without the presence of Oh my Gosh! Louuuve ....Soon, I grew out of my teens & when the oh la la! Tequila margarita replaced the innocent candy floss & ice cream: P a part of me matured into an adult who always tried to believe in living for the present to the fullest becoming some ‘hard to get’ stiletto chic chick that my profession expects me to be ….while the other part refused to grow out of my roots that still crave for those cloudy dreams in pink to come true, In the course of time I saw, I met, I thought, I re-thought…..no matter how many times my brain tried to coax my heart perpetually repeating…’jeez! Grow up...give him a chance…he “seems” to be the one”…but somewhere deep down the lyrics of my love life never seem to match to that of the music of the violins that I dreamed of being played when I fall in love…..I sometimes wonder……. I aint any princess….I aint weaving some fairy tale…I am just another girl who grew up reading loads of ‘ happily ever after’ stories….whose Mom just cant stop herself from pampering & dressing her baby girl all in pink with flowers to let her believe she is a princess I am just an average girl whose hair always look limp … who cant stop drooling at the aroma of dark choc pastries….who laughs incessantly remembering an old joke at odd hours & odd places :D….someone who cant stop crying like a baby when things are not right..I am just another girl, who also “sometimes” (emphasis on the word-sometimes) blushes when someone is sugary sweet to her…. Should that stop me from spreading my imaginary wings & flying in the land of utopia…..??
As on today-14th feb 2010—I guess, life has been trying me, & last few months has been a constant conflict between my heart & brains… but once again it taught me many great life lessons and taught me to appreciate what is truly important and what is just fluff and frills. First time in my life rather than killing time watching chick flicks on V-day, I walked into a card store filled with red hearts roses…n a red blush on my cheek….first time I stayed awake till 12midnight to receive a call…first time I felt like a girl :P…but there were no violins playing...he is no Raj, no Jack..no Romeo….he never had the chance to save me from dragons & monsters…he is no prince with a pristine white horse..I am no beautiful princess living in a castle either…but sometimes people unnoticeably walk into your life, you communicate, you exchange thoughts & you right then realize that they were meant to be there….even though the cupid doesn’t put much effort…the magical spell is still felt…they teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are, your priorities in life….& how you see yourself in future….I don’t believe in fluke…everything that happens has a reason…….so for me…things may have slightly change…& for sure has made me a better person but I am still the princess of my own fairy tale….if not the pink candy world…I am happy with the smoky hustle bustle of today’s world….life may not be a happily ever after kinda story for all, but I believe living life with no excuses & loving your prince/princess charming without regrets & conditions straight out of fancy novels can make all your coming Valentine’s days loaded with hearts & roses n as far as my love story is concerned…who knows next year same date, my PC may grab a chance to save me from sinking into the sea after the ship crashes to prove his love (PS-he better does, cause I dunno to swim )
Happy V day all of you
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Happy new year to me….another year just flew by, yet again leaving behind a trail of beautifully articulated moments in my life where I LOL’d, I sighed, I smiled,I shed those precious pearls…I gasped, and few that just made me wonder in awe…..After a huge gap of time, on the occasion of new year, I revert to my first love –“writing” to seek refuge from the frighteningly random thoughts that’s monopolizing my life lately & the occasional bouts of ups & downs … I wonder what do I write in this little space, There are so many words stifling in my mind that itches to come out,umpteen images in my heart waiting to be shown, so many colors urging to reach the canvas but do I have an honest listener?? Who do I address to?? What do I paint my colorless life with?? Do I have a pair of patient ears to listen to my endless yap, without judging me? Do I have the comfort of strong arms swaying me away from my creepy dark thoughts?? But Why do I care….when its totally completely, my own space…Its my life.. I deserve the right to mould it into any form I want to, since when have I become so needy to ask for someone to pull me out of the shell I have created for myself? Since when have I started living on others terms? Why do I need someone to be happy? Why do I have to hide my tears, gulping down the gush of anguish that comes up as a lump in my sore throat occasionally, without the fear of being exposed to the big bad world?....Why cant I let my hair loose & dance to the beautiful tune that the world around me is playing & just be free & happy,,,?? Why cant I go back time, when an ice-cream melted every hurdles in my simple life?? Why cant life be minus the wrath, the complicated emotions, competition, guilt, pain ………………why cant I wait for the warm rays of sun to kiss me on a wintry night of dark thoughts & furnish me with an enlightened life….They say ‘life is a sweet pain’…why cant I just gulp down the venom & laugh at the destiny that awaits me..
Monday, December 7, 2009
1) 1) You don’t have to pinch your face to bring out that pink blush when he confesses his love to you in the most corniest way, thinking he has turn the world upside down for you, proposing in the most romantic way that the world has ever seen….(when you are just wondering—“Are these lines picked from Moulin rouge?..Or is it notebook…duh!!)
2) 2) You can just give yourself a break from listening to his perpetual brags of how he tamed a wild anaconda, how he swam through the engleesh channel…. & pretending you are with a HERO!!!!!!!....sigh…keeping the constant “awwww” expression on your face, with occasional ‘oh my God...really???...my! my!...n blah blah!...(bull shit!...the jaw badly hurts, keeping that phony expression intact)
3) 3) You don’t have to smile coyly with gratitude when he picks up the grossest gift available on planet earth which probably your irritating neighboring spinster granny would have worn it eons back & still would have counted as outdated & fugly…gross! (Worse still, when he expects you to put on the next time he sees you…spare me the horror...Jesus!)
4) 4) You don’t have to pick up a salad with low carb, low fat, and low cal dressing, when he is proudly gormandizing on French fries, burgers, & hinting at your burgeoning hips & suggesting you names of gyms, health clubs.....(i wonder we never point out their ugly blackheads on their even ugly face, their dark circles, their not-so-john Abraham kinda-body, disheveled hair …then why the hell should be a look-alike of kate Moss..I believe many would agree on this—‘a butterscotch ice-cream tastes way better than any guy’s saliva’ :P)
5) 5) You can give your deceptive tongue a rest by not giving the ‘honey!..I have a very bad headache’ excuse….or ‘I dint mean to hurt you baby…I am just cranky these days, blame my PMS not me’ & the biggest one ‘you are everything, that I had ever imagined in my dream guy, I am so lucky’ ( a few extra notes of mahatma Gandhi printed paper, a posh 4 wheeler, & regular trips to sexy night clubs wouldn’t have harmed much though)…& not to mention.. “Baby!..U r so good at it”eiwww!...
6) 6)You don’t have to tickle yourself to laugh at his fucked up jokes which sometime seems like he has forgotten the punch line….but all you can say is gosh!...u r so witty!...wink! wink!...
7) 7) You don’t have to act dumb to boost his "MALE" ego, (not my fault if I am born as a smart n sexy chick…n by the way baby, I know who the finance minister of India is, the answer of ‘x’ to the power zero, & even who wrote the book midnight’s children)
8) 8)You are freed from the oh so boring events of meeting his ass friends who just cant stop praising him like they are being paid by him on per hour basis to lie & rot in hell for committing one of those 7 deadly sins of lying incessantly…phew! but U are expected to keep nodding your head in disbelief & steal glances of pride with your lover boy ….I wonder, if he is this good, then why is he not with Katrina or kareena? why on earth is he stuck with me...
9) 9) You don’t have to burn your ears by listening to the endless sagas about his momma...his mommy is this…that…n what not…but why are we talking of ethics & culture at this context, I wonder if his mommy approves of everything he does under the sheets?? :P
1010) You can reach out for the dark chocolate pastry resting in your fridge at 3 am without raising any jerk's eyebrows.
There are 3.5 billion potential fishes out there…..all you have to do is turn, focus, bat eyelid, smile….game on! :D
(All the incidents/characters featured on this article are purely non fictional, any resemblance/similarity to any person living or dead(hopefully :D) is deliberate, without a pinch of regret, thank you n FO)
I aint a bitch, I just keep falling for dogs every now & then….
Spice less monotonous life be damned
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Some great (or may be not so great) woman once quoted—“Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate”…..the speculations that she attracted could have been like this—“what a typical girl”…”what a phony creature”...Common every one wants love…is it?? Isnt it?? I wonder…..we meet some one worth meeting, we get close in few meetings, those meetings turn to be an eye opener to expose almost everything about your partner, thereafter there are less meetings cause the curiosity/charm is lost…less meetings=less interaction=loosing interest that implies we start detesting each other like anything…n ultimately we turn to our first love-chocs(butterscotch milkshake for me;))..The world is filled with great many people; I have had a chance to meet a few in my 20 years of lifetime & had my share of going weak at knees, sighing,nauseating abhorring n blah! Blah!..so I hereby list a bunch of guys we get to see in our day today lives, the pros n cons of dating em..…categorically speaking...
The pimpled face geek-
pro- wowww…he is so smart!~~~sigh!..batting eyelashes~~..hez got a knowledge of everything/anything under the sun.
Con- ur frens say—u r seeing him?? HIM??...HIIIMMMM??...r u kidding??...
The rich spoilt brat-
Pro- welcome to the hip! Chic! Life!!…more parties…more gifts...More fancy car rides to sexy restaurants…more—what not..
Con-1) one fine morning u may wake up explaining him—‘darling...its not the moolah!...i love you for what you are…n then wonder “what is he exactly?”
The hot bodied model-
Pro- do I even need to fill this space? :p
Con- on your very first date you get to hear-“Ur place or mine”?? if not anybody’s then f$%k off! NEXT PLZ!...
Pro- its so “IN”
Con- after listening to a poorly recorded cd when you are just tempted to pluck out your ears n kick their butts for the bad cheeky lyrics & worse dressing sense—u just say-- woah! Amaaazing man!..dude! u r the next Billy Joel!..i swear..u r gooooooooooiiinggg a longggggggg way” n so am I K(in the opp direction though)
The fitness freak -
Pro- feels good ;)
Con- the moment you are done ordering that extra portion of double toned milkshake with ice cream…n about to gormandize a HUGE chunk of extra cheese burger..u get a sweet suggestion.. ‘Honey!..There is a nice gym opening nearby, why don’t u…..?? “U think I am fat? @#$&^*&(
The old is Gold…nope diamond man!-
Con—yeah…yeaah.....aaeaaaaahhh…ahhhhhhhhhh… …YEAH????...u done? so soon??
The religious guy-
Pro- your parents love him: O
Con- “the kind of ‘shraddha’ I have for you, makes me worship the divine being that thrives in you, lets get ourselves entangled in a thread of love keeping the sun…the moon as a sakshi to our expression of love & passion…eeewwww!!....marrying you??? To wear sari bindi, kangan,chuddi for the rest of my life.....naaao way…but who the f$%k is shraddha n what about sakshi?...
The dandy dud…errr…I mean dude
Pro- get discounts at salons for double booking.
Con- “Dahling!..u r such a nut…u don’t know the difference between beige & offwhite..? n puhleez move away from the mirror, its time to touch-up my hair…”
The poetry in motion-
Pro- sigh!...sooooooooooww romantic..sigh!..
Con- ‘ the aroma in the air is singing an eulogy to our love,
Beckoning us to plunge into the sea of sins
The flutter of the butterfly, the language of the dove
Will testify the Elysian love I have for you….
I jest not…you are the reverie I wake up to..the voice I slumber to…the touch I crave for….”
OH my god!.what was that???.Can I have an interpreter..a dictionary..anythin??....
the defensive guy from defense-
pro- you receive salutes from people, you are treated like a lady :D
con(s)- expectations are so high that, sometimes people forget their real worth,
no contact with the outer world,you are pushed to stay in a dark dungeon where you have to shut yourself off completely, phew!...
pseudo sense of pride--jesus!....the irony is u are not "THE" man
you have to keep your ears n what not available to them to listen to their perpetual brags about how they won a war, how ethical, cultured their family is, how great their lives are....
a good girl being a rare sight at such places, things sometimes take a very desperate & needy turn :D which is like yuck!!!.....
Well…well..well…this is it…till date…but I will leave the section open and keep updating it
I wonder, in which category do I fall in a similar kinda list made by guys :p
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The lights went dim…the whiff of freshness in the air grew stronger……umpteen violins started playing a tuneful music in the backdrop……… I gaze at my own reflection in the mirror….stark imperfections stare back at me…I smile at it….I love it…I am falling in love with myself all over again…the benighted sky up above looks beautiful to me...the gloomy clouds bring in an air of sensuality awaiting for the divine touch…the soft drizzle kisses the soil with utmost passion….the green foliage dance in joy to reciprocate the love of rain…..the enthralling touch of nature enamors me……I wonder….I introspect….I ask myself the million dollar question……..Before I could answer, the land below my feet is swept off….is it something in me that has changed my vision of life…or is it the mysterious night outside that has cast his irresistible spells on me??.....I am stupefied seeing my own instincts….I am all game to dive into the pool of passions heightened by the downpour outside….the roaring waves ahead me look splendid reflecting the enigmatic turbid sky….I wonder…are the waves crying out a loud joyous lullaby of passion..Or are they playing the sonorous drums to alert the denizens of this sinful earth to not taste the ‘forbidden fruit’….its tempting…its alluring…..its confounding…its blurring…should I??..Should I not??..Why must I...why mustn’t I?..How does it matter anyway??????.........my stark imperfection blurrrrrrrrrssssssss…………..the thunder storm outside my dark room sends a jolt of current in me…there is no point in mulling over matters that we have little control on…I see a streak of red color in my jaded life..I appease myself by repeating…rules are meant to be breached…promises are made to be broken….liaisons are built to be crushed…forbidden fruit is planted to be uprooted, tasted n relished the venom inside to touch the sinful facet of your earthly life………
I suddenly snap out of my reverie….the rain outside has stopped…the sky has turned depressingly crimson….i anticipated for that picturesque moment to come back…I hold back for 2 secs…2 secs seemed like ages,…is it the after effects of having munched the forbidden fruit…is it the venom?...how long do I have to wait…..should I? why should I?...or why should I not?..how does it matter anyway...I am a human…a sinned angel..I err…I also indulge in beautiful mistakes to treat my senses….but now the time has come…I have to repent…I have to pay for my deeds….for diving into the pool of passions & plucking out the forbidden fruit…for letting the poison of life rolling down my guileless eyes……..
Sunday, May 31, 2009
For that lost dream, my blinding soul, bleeds & cries…
I go back to re-live all that you have ever said to me
For they keep coming back to haunt me….
I only wish you could sense the rumbling of your own heart, & embrace the fairy-tale love that’s now fallen apart…..
I never knew the vividness of our love until you walked past me to a farther land
For I believed you would come back the next day to claim my love & hold my hand…
I see you in my dreams, I hear your voice inside me, and I feel you through the air I breathe
My heart writhes in pain with no one to swathe.
I only wish you hadn’t impregnated the beautiful illusions into my mind
& had released me from the unbreakable bond of desire that has got us entwined…
I try to be a stoic, flushing out the dark image that pulls me to you, that needs your comforting touch that yearns for a pleasant musical word of love
For I am tired of being stripped off the bygone life that was deprived of the murky side of love & the grimy phase of lost love…..
I only wish I could accept the love that loves me than chasing the love that once loved…
I only wish you could read the silence on my lips & the vacant gaze on my eyes…
I only wish you could love me back &bring back those shiny illusions or make & never leave me this vulnerable…
Or bring the time to a halt to cease the pain of the tears of blood that can never be wiped…..