Wednesday, July 6, 2011

With love, xyz

I was walking barefooted on the freshly mowed grass caught in a drizzle, with the soft breeze blowing into my drenched hair ,singing lullaby into my tired ears, the million twinkling stars above my head tripping me into a delusionary mish-mash of thoughts…..walking beside me was another soul holding my hands gently and helping my unsteady legs to a smooth gait, we sit on the wet grass, breathing in the aroma of fresh soil after a lash of rains, talking and talking for hours about nothing in particular, In those few moments words are exchanged, some laughs shared…some accusations…and some words of flattery…On the whole you are having a nice time and living each of the passing moments, but the ironical part comes into live when you just snap out of the reverie, all you could do is relish those bygone moments as thoughts. A moment , you were tasting the kiss of paradise, whoosh the next moment you are dragged out of your illusion with a kick of reality, craving for the time to reverse. Did I go wrong in treasuring the moment or was I destined for short trips of happiness…..? Why are we, humans such suckers for short lived glories…? why do I keep searching for the treasure hunt at the wrong place, I wonder why don’t I take a big U turn in my life and just welcome the current time with hugs and smiles rather than living-re living the bygone....why am I groping in the darkness of my solitude at this point of time looking for a familiar touch when my mind and soul have reconciled with themselves and are yelling at my bleeding heart to wait for the sunshine patiently…..I have zillions of questions floating in my mind, the answers to which I don’t comprehend….I haven’t lost hope…I do believe the pariah is right within me, I need to bring it to life but….why are my eyes welling up??...what am I looking for? My vision is too blurry to have a clear scape of what’s waiting for me…..the pain is too excruciating to get onto my feet and walk backwards and clear the grit of my past….why cant I just let go?...why am I crying? Why can’t I just go out of my confinement and dance in the rains anticipating for a change in season….why cant I love myself again???....why cant I sway a magic wand to make myself beautiful all over again??.....why cant I reverse time….
Come back!...come back to me….let me relive those moments again,,,