aN oXyMoRoN...!!!!!!!

Sometimes, a minute seems like an hour.... as everybody around my vicinity elopes into a deep slumber, I count the number of times the pendulum of my wall clock moved to & fro, 234...35...36...37... I stop the count for a moment to switch the mushy music playing on the background to a mushier one...As I lay on my back gazing at the ceiling, I wish the white to be of midnight blue color & be placed high above, adorning itself with millions of twinkling diamonds... I break into a smile anticipating the quixotic lyrics of the song playing... one part of me desires to get lost feeling each of it, while the other struggling to make me grasp the fact that dreams are made of emaciated glass,....
...I get off the bed to catch a glimpse of me on the mirror, I see stark imperfections staring back at me...I wish to be turned into an immaculately beautiful Cinderella by the touch of a magic wand...but why do I have to value vanity over my beautiful imperfections?
I flip through a magazine to pass the muted & dawdling time.... I only wish I could be what I wished to become...wishing to land up in an arena where wishes are nurtured... but alas! I didn’t realize that there exist uncountable heads but less actual living beings....
The night’s so still that I could actually hear the rhythmic beat of my heart....I get into a deep pensive mood when my mind tries to wander through the less conquered spots of my soul..i wish I could travel time back & withdraw some of the harsh words uttered by my ruthless tongue, & get back the unsullied emotions some had for me...but how can I ever appreciate love in my life, if I dont face hate & rejection??....when one part of me yearns to break the shackles of the life, fly all over with a pair of golden wings & breathe in the aroma of solitude & freedom in a grand way...while the other wishes to revisit, the lap of my childhood, where a single moment of joy was multiplied by dancing like no one’s watching you, a drop of tear flown from the innocent eyes was wiped down by three strong pair of hands, where real freedom was screened by the dependence on people who personified selfless love, when relationships were simpler & easier to maintain.......& to relive the moments of endless & thoughtless yapping sessions, guilt free ice-cream binge, jumping over puddles in the rain, bickering over petty issues then forgetting all of it the next moment, forgetting pain by a simple hug, beautifying the Barbie doll, without giving any significance to your own appearances...
The world’s moving slow today... the clock strikes 2...& no sign of sleep on my eyes...I peered through the window, to throw a gaze into the night sky, & lend my ears to the eerie silence lurking outside my window......as one part of me presumes the darkness outside to be an indication of the arrival of solitary days that will sweep the distant dream away from my feet...while the other part appeases, while taking it to be the time before the verve gushes in to my soul in the form of sunbeams.....

***BeEp!!! bEeP!!!****

Could there be any more irritating phrase than the most used “what’s up”? I agree it can be a handy cue to initiate a conversation, but trust me, no matter, how much ever happening a person’s life is, his response would never ever change from a cold monosyllabic reply with a wry smile, I mean what does the asker expect, other than this, You cant blurt out in response to ‘sup’ that your college life is sucking all your leisure time, ur having a rough time with your time-pass friends, u dumped your partner cause you realized soon that he/she was a bloody moron & so on...all you can say is ‘sigh! nothing much, lifez on’ & put him on the same place by asking him back ‘what is up with him’ & be prepared to hear the same reply ...this way the vicious cycle continues....
talking of the new emerging virtual life, When my inbox is generally filled with irrelevant job opportunities, lame discounts & shopping offers, my orkut scrapbook gets flooded with ‘sssup’ msgs in no time. Since at times I, login more than once in a day,i find the same insomniac guys (whose residential address could have been better if changed to google-orkut,) who I would have talked to,a few hours back, will scrap me the million dollar question ‘what’s up’ all over again. During those times, i wonder, what could have possibly happened in a couple of hours for me to narrate them all , I should better revert trailing my neighboring aunt who not only finds 24 hrs a day short to speak about the world but, rather is humble enough to be sharing juicy details about the colony peepz ongoing affairs,spicy inside stories, her ‘secret’ recipes, & ofcourse the wellbeongs of tulsis,parvatis & komalikas of her theaterical life revolving around these characters,with the vegetable/fruit/junk sellers. I prefer not to dwell on it for others good...apart from this conversation initiator, theres this F-word which is the new anthem for the gen-x, these days, i hardly find anyone with a formal brit lingo, as they say, a booze session cant be complete without following it with some heavy moves amongst other drunkards, & a pizza cant be tastier without putting in a dollop of fats, it seems a sentence cant be complete without using the ‘f-word’ more than twice or thrice. There exist people who have little grammar sense, using expletives articulately without making much sense out of it. It’s the word that makes them feel trendy & give them a pride of belonging to the ‘in’ peer group. i still don’t get it how does one feel like an American from using the word which means copulation in every f#$%ing sentence, & by addressing people irrespective of gender as ‘man’, this term gets into my nerves, I am a woman for Christ’s sake! Some dork fans of rappers even go to the extent of calling men- dawg!! another most annoying thing is, the use of the word ‘sexy’ which is used not only to describe the image of poverty stricken, plagued by mal nutrition female bodies with tons of grease paint, but also to inanimate objects like glitzy cell phones, swanky cars & what not. The world’s getting smaller, so people are limiting their vocabulary it seems. anyway, no hard feelings to any connoisseur of this ‘in’ hip-hop lingo, but the last thing i would like to dub is that a crow can never be metamorphosed into a beautiful pearly white swan irrespective of the amount of talcum powder he uses..:D.errrrr....ummmm,,,.it would be better on my behalf to shut the f&$k up before, the ‘dawgs’ get offended, & spurt ‘f$%k u”s straight on my face by showing their middle fingers...