aN oXyMoRoN...!!!!!!!

Sometimes, a minute seems like an hour.... as everybody around my vicinity elopes into a deep slumber, I count the number of times the pendulum of my wall clock moved to & fro, 234...35...36...37... I stop the count for a moment to switch the mushy music playing on the background to a mushier one...As I lay on my back gazing at the ceiling, I wish the white to be of midnight blue color & be placed high above, adorning itself with millions of twinkling diamonds... I break into a smile anticipating the quixotic lyrics of the song playing... one part of me desires to get lost feeling each of it, while the other struggling to make me grasp the fact that dreams are made of emaciated glass,....
...I get off the bed to catch a glimpse of me on the mirror, I see stark imperfections staring back at me...I wish to be turned into an immaculately beautiful Cinderella by the touch of a magic wand...but why do I have to value vanity over my beautiful imperfections?
I flip through a magazine to pass the muted & dawdling time.... I only wish I could be what I wished to become...wishing to land up in an arena where wishes are nurtured... but alas! I didn’t realize that there exist uncountable heads but less actual living beings....
The night’s so still that I could actually hear the rhythmic beat of my heart....I get into a deep pensive mood when my mind tries to wander through the less conquered spots of my soul..i wish I could travel time back & withdraw some of the harsh words uttered by my ruthless tongue, & get back the unsullied emotions some had for me...but how can I ever appreciate love in my life, if I dont face hate & rejection??....when one part of me yearns to break the shackles of the life, fly all over with a pair of golden wings & breathe in the aroma of solitude & freedom in a grand way...while the other wishes to revisit, the lap of my childhood, where a single moment of joy was multiplied by dancing like no one’s watching you, a drop of tear flown from the innocent eyes was wiped down by three strong pair of hands, where real freedom was screened by the dependence on people who personified selfless love, when relationships were simpler & easier to maintain.......& to relive the moments of endless & thoughtless yapping sessions, guilt free ice-cream binge, jumping over puddles in the rain, bickering over petty issues then forgetting all of it the next moment, forgetting pain by a simple hug, beautifying the Barbie doll, without giving any significance to your own appearances...
The world’s moving slow today... the clock strikes 2...& no sign of sleep on my eyes...I peered through the window, to throw a gaze into the night sky, & lend my ears to the eerie silence lurking outside my window......as one part of me presumes the darkness outside to be an indication of the arrival of solitary days that will sweep the distant dream away from my feet...while the other part appeases, while taking it to be the time before the verve gushes in to my soul in the form of sunbeams.....