reality check!!!...........

Like any other day..i woke up late last Thursday hoping for our classes to get suspended for some reason or the other…but such a thing happens once in a blue moon..my hard luck!!…I got out of the bed grumbling & nagging…I had to take a local train to get to my college due to heavy traffic during the peak hours…while commuting i have a tendency to lose touch with reality & sneak it to my fantasies..…it so happens that once I was walking so unmindfully that I was unable to recognize my parents who were standing a feet away from me taking my name loudly…but that day..something really caught my attention….while waiting for my train to come I saw an underprivileged family sitting at the platform fighting amongst each other over some plain boiled rice that was preserved in a colored polythene…
The family comprised of a young couple & their 2 kids…the girl around 2 & the other toddler was some months old I guess…the unkempt man was wearing a pair of ragged grubby shorts…his hairs were messy as if never been washed…& what I could see & count that he was mentally unstable as well from his body lingo…& was that he was least bothered about his kids…. the lady was clad with a single thin chiffon sari was breast feeding her younger baby…the elder daughter..a pretty thing she was..so very cute & bubbly she was..trust me on this--i felt like adopting her that very moment....(but of course I couldn’t cause I am too young for that) she was so lovely..she was hopping around holding a broken piece of toy…n at times she used to kiss & hug her younger sibling..very sweet she was..i just loved her…the younger baby was another baldy cutie pie...the weather was so humid & hot…for which the baby seemed uncomfy n irriatable…but later it slept peacefully…as I mentioned earlier the man was demented( one could easily say that watching his body lingo for a couple of moments)..That bristly man was picking the boiled rice from the polythene & was holding a blunt razor kinda thing with his other hand…& he was trying to slot in that razor into the soft skin of her daughter whenever she tried to sneak her hands into that polythene…afterwhich she used to throw a loud cry…but her parents stayed unperturbed by her cries…this was the entire scene….u know what made me observe them for so long…is the glint of happiness that showed in the eyes of that girl..i mean precisely she had nothing…she was not fortunate enough to meet the bare minimum requirements….but she hopped..played…shouted…laughed….sometimes a stanger teaches u a lot what a known 1 is unable to express….i seriously got the gesture which answered me loud & clear…to the question that I keep shooting at my dad as to why I cant be given the latest cellphone to flaunt or the costliest lappy which added features as compared to current 1 I am using…
My train came…that girl saw me staring at her…I threw a smile at her…I was reciprocated with the cutest smile I had ever received in my lifetime…she made my day…the day went really well….
I have no idea what to write next…but yeah!!...i remember a saying which I came across long back..which goes like--- You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.

unplugged!!!....

My mom often quotes-- life is incomplete without tears…then why is it difficult for me to accept life the way it shows…why do I keep chasing my worldly dreams that provides a pseudo momentary pleasure…why cant I just let it go..n do whatever i really want to without being judged. why cant I let my heart cry without bothering about what impression I am gonna put on others if I do so…why do I keep staring blankly searching for something that I am not familiar with… …I claim myself to be a no nonsense kind of person…then why do I want to liberate myself of these bondages & follow my heart…? I am not depressed….but why am I so lost…..what do I long for every time I shed tears over petty issues without ever realizing what am I really crying for… to be honest these questions have seriously muddled my life…& one thing that keeps bugging my life is that how do we judge people…as an individual..i think I am really good at it..in in fact I am very fast at predicting a person’s instinct as on what his next step gonna be..coz I am quite an observer I guess..but to be honest is it correct to judge a person from his gestures,..,talks or previous deeds or conducts??? Shakespeare once said ‘nothing is good or bad, only thinking makes it so….” Why can’t we follow this…? why do we tend to be harsh on people who have a bruised past..is it their fault ?? cant we just put blame on the situation that went wrong?? But who are we to decide whats wrong n what is right…infact..to put it this way..is there any adjudicator or judge who can filter n split our conduct/deeds into good & bad…personally I don’t believe in any kind of idol worship..i don’t visit any temple..i never join hands or vow my head in front of an idol…for me my God is my conscience..he is someone who I can relate & communicate with…he is no alien to me.,.hez a part of me…but the point is we are human beings no superpower we possess..why have we turned so mechanical…on a personal scale why cant I relish my butterscotch ice-cream without thinking about calories…why cant I kiss my loved ones without bothering about the crowd around me ….why am I preferred speaking sweet pleasant white lies over stark unpleasant true facts…why do I have to respect n socialize people who literally wish 2 stab my back…why am I presumed as being rude & unruly when I am a private person & wish 2 keep my emotions to myself…why am I judged by my appearances..why cant someone fall for me respecting my thoughts rather than craving to get lucky with me…why cant I be taken as something more than a pretty commodity… on retrospect why did I take up consuming alcohol, when I had sworn by my dad not to…he has been the 1 & only person in this planet who understands me to the core…& an epitome of courage & patience….has been an ideal to me very supportive & will always be…why cant I be an ideal daughter 2 such an ideal father….why was I not there with my best friend who loves me like anything without expecting anything from me in return, when he needed me the most…during a trial period of his life…he is always there for me whatsoever…but why cant I be a good friend to a wonderful person who I can say have understood the real meaning of life in a very young age…why did I betray the trust of someone who trusted me to the core…why did I act in such a self-centered way…why do I lose temper & put up really senseless acts when my chemistry teacher who happens to be the only teacher in my career who I really look up to….n a well-wisher of mine that he .is always with me till date to guide & advice me…a wonderful but bit sensitive human….in spite of acknowledging these points…why did I behaved in such a childish manner the other day when he said something he had the right to….why do I hurt my only sis by undermining her & pinpointing her weak points…who kisses me goodnight when I miss my mom…..gets really petrified when I am down with fever or something…& had sobbed a lot when I had to leave home for academic purpose….
what happened to the promises that I made long back to myself ….why have I become so unstable & disconnected from my loved ones
intentionally & unintentionally my acts have hurt lot of people who are acquainted to me…the only dilemma that I face is I really cant express the amount of love & respect I have for them…who do I blame..the situations that intrigued me to mask my emotions…or the mechanical life that has turned me into a plastic doll…i am tired of being a fake…these unanswered questions have taken a toll over my life…life interrogates me…but i have no answer…I would let my tears communicate for me…as they say- tears are words the heart cant express”

DiVaLiCiOuS!!!!....

“every woman knows all about everything.” --Rudyard Kipling

Gosh!! It feels so good being a woman…I was flipping through the magazine of India today when I came across this article which stated a handful of reasons as to why men envy women..or better still if I put it in this way…how are women superior..if not superior..how special they are as compared to the other sex…it just made me sit back & think of some wonderful elements of my life that I njoyed/njoy being a woman…
Dating back to the childhood days…every mamma wants her daughter to look at her best..frilly baby pink frocks..ribbons..ballerina shoes…cute beaded anklets,,,even as a child we had lot of options to pick from.. Again it’s a fact that in schools n even in the families..the guy child is always held responsible for any nuisance act commited,,,for teachers & parents think baby gals are sweet haloed creatures unlike the eternal born devils-guys..citin an example—i remember I was quite a notorious thing in school but since I was decent in academics n other curricular activities, I had kinda okay repute in school, I remember in my 6 or 7th grade..our class had this really frail short..snobbish kinda class monitor, but I must say he was outspoken n was kinda oversmart, & was appointed as class rep after going through a series of buttering n “u r always right ma’m” sessions with our then weird ‘straight outa som e other planet’ class teacher…on a particular day the entire class was punished where we were supposed to complete an assignment without putin our bums on d seat unless we are done, n he was there to make sure everyone does their works effectively without creating any hassles, a history assignment it was, it was obvious from my side to start messing around to kill time..i threw my books aside & sat down peacefully without giving a damn to that sicky creature,, seeing me lot of others had gathered enough guts to do the same..the class went out of his control, & I was the one who was talking & shouting at the top of my voice, this gesture of mine was more than enough for him to lose his temper..the very next moment our class saw a real good memorable war, we exchanged punches, kicks & slaps..lol..that was really funny..but since he was the one who started first..n being a gal it was obvious 4 me 2 fite back & take revenge..all I needed was some women supporters, which I got…& the next step was to xplode the bomb targettin him..& the result was he was badly thrashed by the teachers..carried a black mark throughout & his position was given to some1 else on the grounds of misutilising power & striking fights with angelic..softspoken persons..lol!!..that was a real memorable event in my life…girl power!!
Hmmm..now coming to the teenaged period….the best period in a gal’s life, lovely dresses accessories make-up bling-bling lookin stuffs n lot of other things..all u need is a little bit of mix-match n voila!! U are ready to rock!!!!..but poor guys they dnt have much options thse days..an ugly looking gal can look hot with some tricks..n can turn a few heads but not the same with guys..its a proven fact that guys stare at women…whereas women stare at other women..its an age old tradition which is stil continuing…& in a relationship, guys are expected to make d 1st move…they have 2 shed all their inhibitions to ask a gal out n should be even prepared to hear a ‘NO’..gals hardly face such circumstances...lot of discotheques provide ladies nite out n al that with free drinks n al..n guys..they need a partner wid them 2 enter the premises..



Then when it comes to having family, she plays the role of wife, daughter, mother effectively. Women play any role thrown at them with seemingly effortless ease.her salary goes straight into the shopping malls..clothes..jewelleries etc..in other words she likes to spend on herself…& n her hubby’s salary is expected to be spent on beautiful clothes & diamonds 4 his beloved spouse,,,that means more of clothes & accessories 4 us!! We love desserts we can relish them anytime & everytime..it produces endorphins..n makes us feel good…when it comes to men..they enjoy their boozing sessions with their men folks..but they drop their beer bottles at times to be with us, .then the most most important facet of being a woman is that they have the power to give birth & create life, men just get to stand by & watch...
Coming to the next stage..its an irony that kids are attached more to their mammas.. Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house..mothers are divine beings..4 which we can numerous adjectives another women…& then it’s a fact that A woman has the last word in any argument…Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument….
Honestly speaking!! I would b dead if I weren’t a woman!!!..

d mYsTeRy unfolds......

Its said that.... During a typical lifespan, a human spends a total of about six years dreaming…(which is about 2 hours each night)..its a mysterious & fascinating world where rules & limitations of this pragmatic world/reality don’t apply. as a child I had always been one avid dreamer, who loved fantasizing & live in a totally different world , but as time rolled on I got in touch with a very weird passion that I incur, i.e to decipher dreams & connect it with the practical side of me & relating it to the pragmatic life I lead which includes countenancing the day to day situation. We live in this so called sordid cesspool where every single person wants to ram out others just as a part of their survival strategy….the darwin’s theory of the survival of the fittest still holds good, metaphorically speaking. Being in this rat race, we neglect the call from within, the call that foretells our future..our intuition. Dream analysis assists our senses & introduces us to a world that’s factual but looked on with a different perception from the same eyes….I believe dreams binds our body mind & soul....it brings out a totally new person out of us…it’s a method of self exploration that helps in contacting ones conscience..& discover oneself ..& it helps in to get oneself familiar with the deep desires..there are lot of times I have had experienced nightmares there was a time when I saw myself running amidst mysterious woods…holding something snugly across my chest…gasping & panting…being followed by a creepy dark creature who strangely though bear a halo…the next moment I see myself trying to pace up…but I m kind of held back by some unseen forces…the very next moment that ghostly shadow overtakes me taking the object that I was holding…in a helpless state I saw myself left abandoned…I suddenly woke up to a call that informed us of the sudden demise of my granddad…dreams certainly tells a lot… just after my admission to a fairly good college of high repute…I was always woken up by a murky monster who used to create a cacophonous ambience with its dreadful laughter whose voice just grew heavier & hoarser every passing moment…. I had a series of such dreams till the commencing of my classes… it stopped after that…I later realized that initially I had an inhibition in my mind of being unheard & unrecognized amongst the herd of people around me in my new environment….that so defines the dreams that I used 2 experience..every human is unique in some way or the other..so are our dreams.. No two individuals can have common background, emotions, or experiences. Every dream is connected with ones own "reality". Thus, in interpreting your dreams it is important to draw from your personal life and experiences..i personally feel…lIt provides people with an insight and is a means for self-exploration. In understanding your dreams, you will have a better understanding and discovery of your true self…its just like any other hobby which rejuvenates your senses yet helps you to know yourself better…I keep this space open would keep updating it..so dreams speaks a lot about us..we just ignore the call at times....go ahead indulge in a revitalising journey of unravelling the mystery of Ur lives......